i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
