I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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