she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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