big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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