I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
