Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Porn is love you can see.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
