You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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