i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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