Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
