i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
