he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
