Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
