I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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