I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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