you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
