Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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