somebody snuck up and got me drunk
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
