He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
