if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
