Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
