I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
