I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
did you just send me my own nude
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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