return my video game
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
