did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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