I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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