my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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