did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
