My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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