some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
