plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
