we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
