Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I puked a lego.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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