Swine flu is the new snow day.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
