I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
