okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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