Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
