I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
is wine microwaveable?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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