I need help removing her.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
