I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
...so i touched it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
