If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
