Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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