Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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