I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
