You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
