Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
