His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
