So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
