I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
