My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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