One girl and one boy is just not enough.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
