How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
