Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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