so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
