I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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