Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
