So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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